


Angstshipping Anthology

by lunardance



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:58:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunardance/pseuds/lunardance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of unrelated Malik/Ryou ficlets, combined into one handy little collection. These were all written in 2005-2006, and are crossposted from my Fanfiction.Net account; all summaries are located inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malik hates rain, because it denies him the warmth of the sun. Ryou offers him a different kind of warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published in September 2005.

They say that when you're deprived of something for an extended period of time, you begin to appreciate it more and more.

This was the mantra that continued to run through Ryou's head as he sat on the sofa, curled up in a thick, fluffy blanket. The blazing fire in front of him not only provided an added warmth to the otherwise cold room, but it was also a source of illumination for the white-haired boy - the thick book in his lap helped take his mind off of the freezing downpour outside.

However, his mind wasn't as focused on the book as he thought it was.

Try as he might, he couldn't stop his gaze from fluttering over to the boy that stood by the window, glaring out at the rain. The dull light that came in from said window cast a much more subdued light onto the boy, and Ryou couldn't help but frown at the gloomy expression on his face.

A sudden clap of thunder jolted the boy out of the trance he seemed to be in, and he clasped his tanned hands onto the windowsill. Even from where he was sitting, Ryou could tell that he was shaking - whether it was from fear or the cold, he wasn't sure. Most likely a mixture of both.

Ryou closed his book and set it on the coffee table in front of him. "Malik," he called, "come over here. It's warmer."

Malik simply kept staring out the window, as if he were cursing the rain for ever existing.

Ryou frowned again as he continued to watch the Egyptian, the aforementioned mantra echoing in his mind again. From what he knew of Malik's past, his first venture out into the world hadn't been until he was ten years old. The moment that the light of Ra had fallen upon his face, he'd grown an immediate fondness for the sun and its warmth. And even now, seven years after that day, he still loved sunlight.

On every sunny day, Malik would go out and just sit in the sun for hours on end, taking in its rays - as if the more that he was exposed to the light of the sun, the more that the remaining darkness in his heart deteriorated. It was the ethereal manifestation of Ra himself, the ruler of all Egyptian gods; it was the cosmic body that gave light and warmth to all of the Earth. The Earth could not function without the sun, and likewise, Malik could not be happy without its light.

Which was why he hated rain, and continued to glare out the window, as if nature would bend to his will and diminish it instantly. The downpour was preventing him from mingling with the sun's rays like he so enjoyed doing.

"Malik?" Ryou's voice sounded again.

The blonde reluctantly tore his eyes away from the window and slowly made his way over toward the couch where Ryou was sitting, coming to a stop just in front of him. The smaller boy blinked up at him, light from the fireplace reflecting in his brown eyes, creating the illusion of minuscule suns within their depths.

Ryou held his arms out and opened the folds of the blanket, in a silent offer to share its warmth with Malik.

As he wordlessly sat down on the sofa and leaned into Ryou, Malik's arms wound themselves around the other boy's waist. A slight chill ran throughout Ryou's body as a cool face buried itself in the crook of his neck, but he draped the blanket over the both of them anyway. He blushed faintly, bringing his hand up to fondly stroke the hair near the base of Malik's neck.

Malik let out a calm sigh at the gesture; something erupted within him and filled his body with a new kind of warmth - one that warmed him from the inside out, spreading from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He pressed a gentle kiss into the pale skin of Ryou's neck as he snuggled closer to the other, wanting to share this warmth with him. "...thanks," he muttered, his thoughts drifting away from the sun-stealing downpour outside.

Ryou simply smiled as he wove his fingers through the flaxen strands, continuing to offer Malik a kind of warmth that would forever rival that of the sun.


	2. Uniformity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryou loves a man in uniform. Malik, unfortunately, hates uniforms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published in November 2005.

"This fabric's too stiff. I can barely move."

"You're wearing it, Malik."

"It itches!"

"You're wearing it, Malik.

"... It's not showing enough skin?"

" _You're wearing it, Malik._ "

Malik pouted as he stared at his reflection. He was no longer wearing the cropped lavender hoodie, or the comfortable cargo pants; the golden bands no longer adorned his arms. Instead, he was dressed in the royal blue uniform of Domino High - and he didn't like it one bit.

He frowned as he turned his face toward his unwavering boyfriend, putting on the best set of 'puppy eyes' he could muster up - a technique he'd picked up from said boyfriend, no less. "Ryou?" he whimpered, "do I _have_ to wear it?" Malik tugged at the collar of the jacket, in an attempt to free it from his sweat-dampened neck. Collared clothing was always so warm on him.

"If you're going to come to school with me, yes, you have to," Ryou said in a matter-of-fact tone. "It's just how the Japanese school system works. I'll be surprised if they even let you get off with your hair." He walked behind Malik, weaving his fingers through the flaxen strands in an attempt to straighten it out a little.

Malik would've frowned at Ryou's statement, if it weren't for the fact that he was practically melting under the boy's gentle touch. "Why _wouldn't_ they let me off with the hair?" he asked, turning to look at him.

The corner of Ryou's mouth turned up in a nervous smile as he laid his hands on the back of Malik's shoulders. "When I first transferred to the school, the gym teacher, Karita-sensei, wanted me to cut my hair because long hair on boys was against the rules," he explained. "He wanted me to come in the next day with a crew cut."

"A _crew cut_?" Malik exclaimed. He whirled around and grabbed Ryou's arms, frantically pulling him into a tight hug. "You poor thing!" He took Ryou's thick white hair in his hands and tangled them in it, as if it would suddenly vanish without warning. Malik absolutely loved Ryou's hair; it was always soft and fluffy, and often made for a good pillow. The thought of his boyfriend with a crew cut was absolutely _horrifying_.

Ryou squeaked as Malik embraced him, his cheeks stained a bright red. He hesitantly reached up and patted Malik's back, another nervous smile crossing his lips. "... It's _okay_ , Malik," he said, a little bit worried about the taller boy's mental condition. "Obviously, I didn't cut my hair. I don't think they'll say anything to you about it as long as you're with me." He hoped that would suffice; he wasn't sure if he'd ever told Malik about what had happened with Karita. The spirit of the Sennen Ring had confronted him and turned him into a pawn in the tabletop RPG, "Monster World". Some time after the incident, Karita had returned to the school, but he'd never said anything to Ryou about his hair after that.

In fact, he'd kept his distance from him.

Malik slightly pulled away from the hug, gazing down at Ryou. "... Okay." He looked back behind him at the mirror again. "I don't care if I have to wear the uniform, as long as they let me keep my hair." Of course, Malik didn't like just Ryou's hair. He loved his own hair, and the hair of pretty much everyone that they knew as well. To say that he had a fixation with hair would've been an inderstatement - it was more like a _fetish_.

"... You don't have to keep the jacket buttoned up, you know," Ryou said, reaching up to undo the buttons on Malik's uniform. "If you're more comfortable with it, you can keep it unbuttoned..."

Malik blinked. "You could've told me that sooner," he said, pouting again. "My neck was burning up." He looked down, assisting Ryou with the unbuttoning of his jacket. Moments later, it was completely undone, exposing the black shirt underneath.

Ryou reached up again and grabbed the collar, adjusting it a bit so it stood up straight. "There. That's better, isn't it?" he asked, smiling sweetly.

"Yeah, it's better," Malik replied, returning the smile. "... But I still don't like the uniform."

" _Malik_!"

"Well, I _don't_."

Ryou sighed. "Look, Malik... it's only for eight hours. You can change out of it as soon as you get home, but..." He frowned a little, "you'll get in trouble if you show up not wearing it at all. I don't want you to get in trouble on your first day..."

Malik bit his lip in contemplation. His boyfriend had a point - he wasn't sure what the discipline system was like at Domino High, but he did know that if he got into trouble, Isis would have a complete fit about it. Getting into trouble with his sister was worse than anything the school could throw at him, because Isis tended to make him actually _do_ things. Like cleaning the toilets, or under the refrigerator.

"... Fine," Malik said, slumping his head in defeat. "I'll wear it. But only because you want me to." He turned around to face the mirror again, eyeing his reflection from head to toe.

A wide smile broke out on Ryou's face as he wrapped his arms around Malik's waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. "Thank you, love," he said, softly brushing his lips against Malik's cheek. When he felt the taller one relax within his embrace, Ryou turned his head to whisper into his boyfriend's ear. "You know," he purred, "it's actually good that you don't like wearing it... because you'll only be more eager to get out of it later..."

Malik turned his head to face Ryou, breaking out into a devious smirk. "Well, when you put it _that_ way..."

Before Ryou had a chance to respond to that, the small gap between them was closed as their lips met. Ryou squeaked and tensed up slightly, but his surprise promptly diminished as Malik turned around within his grasp and wrapped an arm around Ryou's slim waist, pulling him up flush against his chest. Malik's other hand was preoccupied with gently stroking Ryou's cheek; he nipped at the soft lips below his before pulling back, that same sly grin on his face.

Ryou was panting lightly by the time Malik pulled away, and he allowed his head to fall down to the Egyptian's collarbone. A contented sigh escaped from Ryou's lips as he felt the arms of his boyfriend encircle him completely, and for a moment he even forgot what they'd been talking about before. However, one glance at the cobalt fabric beneath him was a good reminder.

Subdued as he was, Ryou pouted and threw a halfhearted glare up at Malik; he'd likely been trying to distract him with that kiss. "You're still wearing the uniform."

"... Damn."


	3. Glow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes memories don't seem as painful when you're with others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published in April 2006.

The red-orange glint in his eye was slightly unnerving - it was almost like a reminder of the darkness that once clouded his heart. The light in his hair provided a good contrast, though, like a halo of sorts: a reflection of his remaining innocence.

Regardless of any angel or demon comparisons, I think he looked beautiful.

I didn't tell him this, though; it wasn't appropriate at the moment. He wanted to take a walk around Domino, to see everything he saw during his first visit in a new light. We'd walked through the better part of the city, my hand clasped in his, in complete silence - he didn't say anything, and I didn't disturb his thoughts. I especially don't want to say anything now... not while we're at the place that brings the most memories back to him.

I don't remember being here before, but we stood on the pier, just staring out at the sea. The setting sun cast many shades of yellow and orange out onto the water, and it was a very pretty sight. I looked down at our joined hands; it would've almost been romantic if it weren't for the pensive expression on his face. This place obviously has some sort of significance to him, moreso than any of the other places we'd seen already, and it showed in his eyes - beyond the orange gleam is a cloudy lavender hue that was full of nothing but regret. I wanted to say something, to help ease his mind, but the words just wouldn't come... I simply gave his hand a gentle squeeze, letting him know that whatever happened here is in the past now, and everything is okay.

He spoke for the first time since we left my apartment.

"This is where I forced them to duel each other," he said quietly, as if he didn't want to break the silence either, "Yuugi and Jounouchi."

I looked back up at his face - he was still staring out across the water. I didn't respond to that... or rather, I _couldn't_ respond to it. Something in his voice made my own stop working; my throat constricted painfully, and I couldn't have responded if I'd tried.

He continued to speak, his grip on my hand tightening. "... I turned one best friend against the other, all for my own gain. All to get back at the Pharaoh for all of the pain I'd been put through."

I anxiously chewed on my lip for a few moments. "They forgave you, you know," I muttered, having finally found my voice. "Yuugi-kun and Jounouchi-kun... they both came out of it alright. And once they found out what the driving force behind it was... I think they understood." I didn't know. I hadn't been there for the explanation of his past, though he'd eventually told me when he was ready. Judging from Yuugi-tachi's interactions with him by the end of the tournament, though... they seemed to have forgiven him. I wonder if he knew that or not?

He turned his head to look at me, his eyes aflame with that same orange glimmer. It was closer to a reddish color now: a good indicator of how long we'd been standing there. The sun was just barely hovering over the horizon now. "Do you understand?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered, without hesitation. He'd done his fair share of harm to me as well, though I didn't remember most of it. I only faintly recall him helping me find Jounouchi-kun, and even then, it was all a complete blur. I remember being in a lot of pain; whether that was caused by him or the spirit of the Ring, I'm still unsure. "You've really been through a lot of things, and for most of it, you were mislead, correct?" He nodded in response, and I felt a tiny smile form on my face. "... So, it's not your fault."

He was quiet for several moments, as if he were taking all of that in. He looked back out toward the sea, and the darkening sky, and then changed the subject. "Thank you," he said, "for coming out here with me." Though, I had a feeling that wasn't the only thing he was thanking me for. "I don't think I could've faced these memories again by myself."

My smile widened. "It's not a problem... sometimes they don't seem as painful when you're with others."

"Mm." He nodded in agreement before turning around, tugging on my hand. "Let's go back now, before it gets dark."

"Okay." As we started walking back toward my apartment, I tugged his hand up toward my lips, gently pressing them against the back of it. "If you want to face them again, I'll be happy to help make it easier..."

He stared at me, looking surprised, but then his lips curled up into a small smile - the first one I'd seen on him all evening. "Thank you," he repeated.

That time, I was positive of what he was thanking me for.


	4. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All they really wanted was acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published in June 2006.

Every day after school, he would stand there and watch the four of them disappear down the street, without even looking back at him. And then he would silently walk back to his apartment - to the only place where he felt he truly belonged, where he could continue to write letters to his sister, the only person who never shunned him. But even then, there was nothing really _there_ for him, the letters aside. There wasn't even the burden of the Sennen Ring around his neck to show that there was at least _somebody_ who had a use for him.

It wasn't in Ryou's nature to be jealous, but he couldn't help but feel that way about Yuugi and his friends - they all seemed to have the perfect storybook friendship: always there for one another, always doing fun things together, always... there to rub it in his face. He was sure it wasn't intentional, but the fact that they never asked him to join them made him think otherwise.

He might as well have been living a broken record. Wake up, go to school, come home, go to sleep - it was the same way every day. It was so strange now that the spirit of the Ring was gone. There were no more holes in his memory, and he could make sure all hours of the day were accounted for. He wasn't sure whether that was a good or bad thing, as he hadn't been completely on his own in a long time, but one thing was certain. It was... _boring_.

That is, until Malik came along.

His sister had moved them back to Japan for job-related issues; as a result, that meant that Malik was to attend school with them. From what he'd heard from Yuugi's friends, they didn't seem too thrilled at that revelation... Ryou didn't really blame them either, as Malik had caused a lot of trouble during his last trip to Japan. Although, they had been rather welcoming upon seeing him in Egypt a while back, but Ryou gathered that was because they'd needed Malik's help at the time. Now they just seemed uncomfortable.

However, once Malik joined them at the school, Ryou took to watching _him_ instead of Yuugi's group. The Egyptian seemed so blank as he walked home, as if he felt nothing about his situation. He seemed that way most of the time - every once in a while, Ryou's eyes would meet his, and Ryou saw nothing but a distant sort of sadness behind them. Was Malik sad about being torn away from his home? Was he remembering the last time he'd been in Japan?

When Ryou worked up the courage to join him on his way home from school, his questions were gradually answered. He wasn't sure why Malik had told him _anything_ , but it was fairly simple - Malik wanted somebody to confide in, and Ryou could already relate to him to an extent, so he was a reasonable choice.

Malik was afraid of being rejected. He too had seen the bond between Yuugi, Anzu, Jounouchi, and Honda; he'd almost _felt_ it. He'd gotten it into his head that he hadn't been forgiven for everything that had happened during Battle City, and that he never would be. After all, he'd wanted to kill Yuugi, he'd manipulated Anzu and Jounouchi in order to help him obtain the Sennen Puzzle... and his darker half had almost _succeeded_ in that. Not to mention the number of mind slaves he'd taken - they still resided in Domino, and if they were to locate him again, it likely wouldn't be pretty.

All he really wanted was acceptance: the same thing that Ryou wanted.

After that discussion, the two of them just gravitated toward each other. They spent as much time together as they could, doing everything that Yuugi and his group did, and gradually coming to accept each other, despite the various differences they shared. Malik's ambitious nature was a direct contrast to Ryou's more passive attitude, yet they mixed rather well together - they balanced each other out.

While Yuugi had found a sanctuary within all of his friends, Malik and Ryou had found one within themselves. Eventually, that sanctuary grew to encompass both of their hearts as well; they shared one kiss, and it was like all of their desire to be included in Yuugi's group of friends had just melted away.

Every day after school, they would stand there and watch the four of them disappear down the street, without even looking back at them. And then they would silently walk back to Ryou's apartment, hands entwined - to the only place where they felt they truly belonged. But this time, there was something there for both of them.

Each other.

_In you and I, there's a new land._


	5. Disturbance of the Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having a fight with someone you love is tough to forget about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published in August 2006.

Ryou'd had trouble sleeping the past few nights.

It was understandable, really; when somebody fought with their loved one, it was very hard to forget about, even long after the fight ended. It kept running through his mind - he tossed and turned, tried to sleep in every position he could think of, counted cream puffs, and even tried to think of new figurines to make for Monster World in an attempt to clear it from his head. This went on for at least an hour before he finally dragged himself out of bed.

He padded down the hallway into the kitchen, toes twitching a little at the feel of the cold tile on his feet. Whenever he had trouble sleeping, a glass of warm milk usually helped, sometimes with a drop of honey or sugar in it. It was very relaxing, especially when he was sick, but he wasn't sick this time... not literally, anyway.

As he let the pot of milk slowly heat up, Ryou gave up on trying to think about something other than the fight. There had been so much yelling and screaming that he was surprised nobody else in his apartment complex had called the police to break it up. There might have even been a couple of things broken, but his mind was too numb to really remember anything other than what was said.

He could remember _that_ very clearly.

_"Why don't you trust me?"_

Ryou sighed, shaking his head as he turned the burner off, his milk ready. After stirring in a bit of honey, he went to sit at the kitchen table, watching the amber swirl melt into the milk. Unfortunately, he couldn't quite bring himself to drink it yet, as his mind was still on the fight. Trust was a very big issue between couples - for most people, once it was broken, it was extremely hard to put back together. This wasn't really the case with Ryou, though. Despite the slight case of paranoia he'd developed about his relationship with Malik, he was so desperate for companionship that if something was done to betray his trust, he'd shrug it off the best he could.

After all, as long as Malik was happy, he'd just stand by and accept anything his boyfriend did.

He finally took a sip of his milk, letting the warm, sweet mixture run down his throat. It was wonderfully comforting; he could almost start to feel sleep coming on after only the first drink. However, before he could finish off the glass, the telephone on his wall caught his eye.

Ryou stared at the phone thoughtfully for a few minutes, wondering if he should call Malik. It was very late - nearly two in the morning - and he was probably asleep. Ryou didn't want to wake him, but he often felt that it was much easier to fall asleep if he was in the Egyptian's arms. In the past, he'd discovered that Malik _really_ hated being disturbed while he was asleep. Though he tended to react more calmly if it was Ryou who woke him up, so...

If he was lucky, maybe Malik wouldn't mind so much this time. After all, he'd be going right back to sleep anyway. Ryou finally stood and went to the phone, dialing Malik's number.

The voice on the other end sounded anything but awake. "...hello?"

"Um... Malik?" Ryou bit his lip, absently twirling the phone cord between his fingers.

"What is it?" Malik answered gruffly.

Ryou winced. It had been a bad idea to call Malik; he had been asleep, and by waking him up, he'd only angered him. "I'm sorry if I woke you, but... c-can I come over?" he asked, then quickly added, "if you don't want me to, I understand, but uhm... I just can't sleep, and I feel better when I'm with you, and..." Ryou trailed off nervously, leaving some space for Malik to answer.

A few moments went by before he finally did. "... Yeah, you can come over. Need me to come and get you?"

"...please?"

"Alright. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Thank you... um, bye." Ryou hung up the phone, then let out another sigh, anxiety bubbling up in his stomach - or maybe it was just the milk; he couldn't tell. But he returned to the table and sat down to wait for his boyfriend. He wasn't even going to bother changing out of his pajamas or pack anything. He was just going to sit there, drink his milk, and hope that Malik wouldn't be too angry when he got here.

It could've just been the lack of sleep talking, but he swore he could almost hear the argument again as he waited.

It wasn't long before there was a knock on his door. Ryou's empty glass was abandoned on the table as he opened the door, immediately curling himself around the boy standing on his doorstep.

"I'm so sorry, Malik, I didn't mean to bother you... I mean, I know how much you hate being woke up, and I don't blame you if you're mad at me for it-"

"Relax, it's okay," Malik said, cutting him off. He wrapped an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders, tugging him close. "I'm not mad about it. Really."

Ryou looked up at him, then nodded, hesitantly leaning up to take a small kiss from him. "Okay..." He buried his face in Malik's shoulder again, almost tempted to just go to sleep right there, but the sound of yelling prevented him from doing so. That and it wouldn't be too comfortable to sleep standing up. "The neighbors have been fighting with each other _all night_ ," he said with a groan, trying to drown the noise out.

Malik blinked, running his fingers through the other's white hair in a soothing manner. "Is that what's been keeping you awake?" he asked, receiving a nod in response. As if to further answer his question, the screaming coming from the apartment next door grew even louder. He rolled his eyes, tugging Ryou out onto the doorstep. "Well, come on, then. If they're depriving you of your beauty sleep, then it's better that you come stay with me."

Ryou smiled, lifting his head again. "Alright," he said, reaching down to take Malik's hand. "It's either that or call the police on them for disturbing the peace, but I think that would just end up causing more trouble..."


	6. Through the Grapevine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isis hears an interesting rumor about her brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published in September 2006.

Sometimes, you hear the most interesting things in places you'd least expect.

"Hey, you know that new kid? The one from Egypt?"

"Yeah, I know him... um, what was his name again?"

"Malik Ishtar."

"Oh, right. What about him?"

...I'm not usually one to eavesdrop, but whenever I hear somebody mention my brother, I become very curious about what they have to say about him... especially if it's from two teenage girls in the magazine aisle at the local market. It was quite convenient that I happened to be in the aisle at the time - Malik had asked me to pick something up for him - so I could just flip through some of the magazines while these girls gossiped about him. I am a woman, after all, and only a few years older than these girls, so they likely wouldn't give me a second glance.

It would be quite amusing to tell Malik what they said about him, I think. As long as it wasn't anything relating to the Battle City tournament; but then again, how many people knew what he actually did during it?

"Okay, well, you know how he turned down Miyu-chan the other day?"

"Yeah, I heard about that! I felt so bad for her. That was so mean of him! Why do all of the cute boys have to be such jerks?"

I held back a snort at that remark. Teenage girls were so strange... if somebody doesn't return their feelings, they take it personally, instead of thinking about it. Some people just don't find it right to be in relationships at their current stage in life. I do know that the high school discourages student relationships, and while Malik has never really been one to follow the rules, he's never really been interested in girls, either. Or dating, for that matter.

Then again, the only female interaction he had for the first ten years of his life was with me, his sister. I can't say I blame him for not wanting to date.

"I don't know. But anyway, I heard that he did it because he doesn't like girls."

"You mean he's gay?"

"That's what people are saying, yeah."

I nearly dropped my magazine upon hearing that. Malik... gay? Somehow, it didn't seem to compute. Yes, he hadn't had enough female interaction in his life to be interested in girls, but that's exactly the _point_ \- he wouldn't know if he liked girls or not, going by that logic.

But one of them said it was just a rumor that was circulating around the school. So that doesn't mean that it's automatically true; it's just speculation on the part of the student body. I don't know how they'd know, anyway... Malik generally tries to keep his private life under wraps. I don't think he'd let something like that get out into the open.

Not that it'd make a difference if he was gay. It doesn't change who he is at all. It just means that I don't have to worry about him getting some poor girl pregnant... unless he's simply bisexual, but the low interest in girls probably nullifies that idea.

And really, if he's happier being with boys instead of girls, then so be it. Who am I to deny my brother happiness? He's been deprived of so many things that he deserves to have something he truly wants. If that means being romantically involved with another boy, then I'll support that decision.

As long as he's happy.

"Wow, that kinda makes sense, then... do you know if he's involved with anyone?"

"Well... Yuri-chan said she saw him with Bakura-kun over at Burger World. She said they looked really... _friendly_ with each other."

"...oh no, not Bakura-kun too! I swear, all of the cute guys are either gay or complete jerks... it's not fair!"

I wanted to tell the girls that life was rarely fair - being forced to bear the Pharaoh's memories on your back isn't fair at all - but I held my tongue. Instead, I searched through the magazine stand for the one that Malik had asked me to find for him (...I can't tell if these people on the cover are male or female) and left the market, paying for everything I'd picked up.

For once, I decided to walk home instead of taking the public transportation. I had a lot of things on my mind at the time, and I wanted to sort them out before I got home. I knew that I had to at least talk to Malik about this... just to get a confirmation of whether he is or isn't gay. I wouldn't be angry with him if he was, but it was something that I needed to know. I no longer owned the Sennen Tauk, so I couldn't just peek into the future to see what his answer would be.

Honestly, I'd be more hurt by the fact that if he _is_ gay, he hid that from me. I know Malik isn't exactly the most trusting person in the world, but you'd think he'd be able to trust his own sister with a matter like this...

And 'Bakura-kun'... I know they didn't mean the spirit of the Sennen Ring; he'd been defeated by the Pharaoh and his friends. So that meant they were referring to the spirit's former vessel, a quiet boy who seemed to have a streak of bad luck. I knew that he and Malik were friends, but he'd never mentioned anything about a relationship. Although, I think they'd do well with each other, if only as friends. I don't know much about Bakura, but the fact that he also held a great evil inside of his mind... if anybody could understand Malik in that aspect, it would be him.

I arrived home sooner than I anticipated - though maybe it only felt like it was sooner because I was in such deep thought. I still wasn't sure what I'd say to Malik, but one thing was certain: be _gentle_ with him, be understanding, and don't make him think you're opposed to the idea, because you're not. That is, if he _is_ what those girls said he was.

I pushed the front door open, quite prepared to take whatever answer Malik had for me.

However, I _wasn't_ prepared for the scene that greeted me as soon as I entered the house.

Malik was currently engaged in quite a heated make-out session, and by the way that he suddenly pulled himself off of the person beneath him - I caught a glimpse of something white as he did this - it was clear that _he_ wasn't prepared for my return. "Um... hey there, 'nee-san," he greeted as he hurriedly attempted to straighten his tousled hair.

The other person sat up and quickly started buttoning their shirt, hiding a crimson face beneath their white bangs.

I stared at them for a few moments, probably blushing a bit myself, but I finally shook my head and regained my composure. "...so, I suppose the rumors are true. Hello there, Bakura."

Bakura glanced up at me and flashed a weak smile before looking back down at the floor, nervously twiddling his thumbs.

Malik, his face quite red as well, raised an eyebrow at me as he stood, straightening the wrinkles in his shirt. "What rumors?" As flustered as he was, he looked genuinely confused - perhaps he hadn't heard anything...?

I gave him a reassuring smile and stepped toward him. "I heard a couple of girls talking about you while I was at the market. They said that because you apparently turned some girl down a few days ago," I briefly looked to Bakura, "they thought that you might be... well, they think you like boys in the romantic sense, if you get my drift." I didn't know why I was beating around the bush, given what I'd just walked in on, but for some reason, I didn't want to just say it outright that they thought he was gay.

"Oh... that," Malik muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. He exchanged a look with Bakura, who looked utterly crushed, before turning back to me. "Look, 'nee-san, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just... I didn't know how you'd react-"

"Malik, it's alright," I said, cutting him off. "I'm not angry with you. If he makes you happy, then I'm not going to stand in your way..." I smiled at him, reaching up to gently pat his arm. "All I really want is for you to be happy, Malik. You know that. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything..."

Malik was quiet for a moment - he looked like he was thinking about what I'd said - and he nodded, a small smirk forming on his face. "Is that your way of giving us your blessing?"

I nodded before turning to Bakura again, who had reached up to clutch Malik's hand. "Be good to him," I said, "don't treat him like the spirit of the Ring did..."

Bakura flinched slightly at the mention of the spirit, but he smiled and nodded, absolutely beaming by now. "I won't... thank you, Isis-san."

Now that that matter had been settled, I reached into my grocery bag. "Oh, I picked up your magazine, Malik," I said, handing it to him. "I can't for the _life_ of me figure out if those people are male or female..."


	7. Pain Without Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sensation of pain was the only thing that reminded him that he was still present in this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published in June 2007.

He didn't feel anything when Malik crushed their lips together.

Or maybe it would've been more accurate to say he _couldn't_ have felt anything; perhaps his senses were deadened, in a way, and all those years of refusing to get close to anybody had come back to haunt him - now that there was someone actually there, he wasn't quite sure how to take it.

Ryou thought that would be giving himself too much credit, though.

Either way, he didn't feel anything when he was with Malik. He wanted to, he _really_ wanted to - he knew they could sympathize with each other, given their situations had been similar - but even with that in mind, Ryou still felt nothing. Nothing except for a distinct feeling of disembodiment, as if he were floating above himself, seeing him move in unison with the other, though the expression on his own face was completely blank.

There was plenty of physical feeling: nails upon his back, his hair being tugged on, the grazing of teeth along his neck, and those feelings were the only things that brought him back into reality. The sensation of pain was the only thing that reminded Ryou that yes, he was still present in this world, and no, he was not alone.

And to be honest, he would've rather felt pain than nothing at all. At least he knew that he could feel _something_.

Even if it wasn't love, and even if there was no 'connection', it was still something, and that was the reason why he smiled over at Malik after they'd finished. Ryou didn't really mind that it was the only thing their relationship - if you could call it that - was based on; Malik had felt more than his share of pain throughout his life, as did Ryou, and it wasn't going to end anytime soon. Life in general was painful, and death was the only way that anybody would ever be released from it.

Anguish wasn't even the only thing pain ever came from. Love was painful: that tightening feeling one got in their chest when they were with their significant other, or that fluttering feeling in the pit of their stomach. Tranquility was painful: sometimes the silence was too much to bear, and the idea that _nothing was happening_ left one extremely bored. Even happiness was painful, like when somebody smiled so much that their cheeks started to hurt.

But Ryou felt none of those kinds of pain; the only pain he felt anymore was the result of how rough Malik was at night. He supposed it was only natural - Malik was a domineering, manipulative person by nature, and Ryou had always been more passive - almost _submissive_ , even.

That was why they still managed to work well together, even though they weren't in love; all of their pain from the past was overlapped by new pain, and it would continue to overlap until it finally relinquished. Until then, Ryou would continue to take the pain that was dealt to him.

Because he would've rather felt pain than nothing at all.


End file.
